escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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