Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
