I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He passed out mid-signature
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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