dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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