I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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