The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
