I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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