Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize