babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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