You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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