I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
