hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
