defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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