let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
