He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize