Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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