operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize