All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
