I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't make out with my wife yet
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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