Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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