If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
