love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I died a long time ago.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
