It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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