on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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