i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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