well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
