Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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