It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
