I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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