have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
