well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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