I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
