this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
