Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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