It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
