maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
