she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
