What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
