She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
