Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ugly people sure do ruin things
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
In America we eat man semen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
