Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
