There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
