i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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