Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
