he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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