Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Umm I'm too high to move.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
