Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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