We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
