What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
