so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize