What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
