All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
