Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
