.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
