After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
