Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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