Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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