What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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