it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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