what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
