I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
