the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
