its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
