You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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