i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
