God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
