Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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