Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
