Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
