So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
