dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
