So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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