well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
