theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
