im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
