I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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