The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
